Alligator List Crawling Dating

Cynthia May

2 min read

·

17-01-2025

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Dating apps have revolutionized the way we meet potential partners, but the ease of access also introduces new challenges. One such challenge is the phenomenon of "alligator list crawling" in online dating. This isn't about actual alligators, but rather a less-than-savory dating strategy that can leave you feeling frustrated, hurt, or even unsafe. Let's dissect this modern dating dilemma.

What is Alligator List Crawling?

Alligator list crawling refers to the practice of someone maintaining a large list of potential dating partners – their "alligator list" – whom they contact sporadically, keeping several options "on the hook" simultaneously. They might engage in superficial conversations, maintaining just enough interest to prevent losing potential matches, while not investing genuine effort or emotion in any single person. Think of it like an alligator casually keeping multiple potential meals within reach.

The Tactics of the Alligator Crawler

These individuals often employ several deceptive tactics:

• Ghosting and reappearing: They disappear for periods and then resurface when they're bored or lacking other options.
• Superficial conversations: They avoid deep or meaningful conversations, focusing on small talk and avoiding vulnerability.
• Bread-crumbing: They offer just enough attention to keep you interested but never commit to anything substantial.
• Love bombing (in the initial stages): Initially, they shower you with attention, often exaggerating their feelings, creating a false sense of connection.

Why Do People Alligator Crawl?

Several reasons may drive this behavior:

• Fear of commitment: They might be afraid of intimacy or long-term relationships.
• Low self-esteem: They may be seeking validation through multiple connections.
• Ego boost: The thrill of maintaining many potential partners can inflate their ego.
• Lack of time/energy: Ironically, attempting to manage multiple dating profiles simultaneously can be incredibly time-consuming and eventually unsustainable.

Recognizing and Avoiding Alligator Crawlers

Identifying an alligator crawler can be difficult, but here are some red flags to watch for:

• Inconsistency: Their level of contact is erratic and unpredictable.
• Lack of substance: Conversations lack depth and meaningful engagement.
• Avoidance of commitment: They avoid defining the relationship or making future plans.
• Multiple dating profiles: If you discover they're using multiple dating apps, it's a strong indicator.

Protecting Yourself

The best way to avoid becoming a victim of alligator list crawling is to prioritize healthy communication, set clear boundaries, and trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Don't waste your time and energy on someone who isn't genuinely invested in you.

Remember: Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Don't settle for less. If you encounter this behavior, disengage and move on to find someone who values you and your time.