How To Tell Someone Their Kids Cant Come To Graduation

Caroline Mae

2 min read

·

04-01-2025

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Graduation is a momentous occasion, a culmination of years of hard work and dedication. It's a day filled with pride, joy, and anticipation – but it's also a day with limited space and often, strict guest limitations. Having to tell someone their children can't attend is never easy, but it's a situation that unfortunately arises. Here's how to navigate this delicate conversation with grace and empathy:

Understanding the Situation

Before you even begin the conversation, understand why you need to limit guests. Is it a venue restriction? University policy? COVID-19 protocols? Knowing the reason will help you frame your explanation and address potential concerns more effectively. Having a clear and concise understanding of your institution's policies is crucial. This will not only help you with this conversation, but it will also arm you against potential conflict later on.

Preparing for the Conversation

This isn't a conversation to rush. Choose a time and place where you can speak privately and without interruptions. A phone call might be appropriate if you don’t feel comfortable doing this in person; however, expressing the news with a face-to-face conversation can sometimes be more conducive to empathy and understanding. It’s best to choose the method which makes you most comfortable. Consider the relationship with the individual – a close friend or family member may warrant a longer, more empathetic approach.

The Conversation

Start by expressing your understanding of their feelings. Acknowledge how much this day means to them and their children. For example: "I know how much this day means to you and how excited your children are to be here. I truly appreciate that." This sets a positive and empathetic tone.

Next, clearly explain the reason for the guest limitation. Avoid making excuses; be direct and honest. For example: "Unfortunately, due to venue capacity restrictions, we're limited to two guests per graduate." Or, "Because of university regulations regarding COVID-19, we're only permitted a small number of guests this year."

Finally, offer an alternative solution whenever possible. Could they perhaps watch the ceremony online? Is there a post-ceremony gathering they could attend with their children? Consider offering to take photos or videos for them to share.

Dealing with Potential Reactions

Understand that some people might be disappointed, even angry. Remain calm, reiterate your explanation, and maintain your empathy. Reassure them that you understand their feelings and that this decision was not made lightly. While you can't control their reaction, you can control your response, focusing on respect and empathy.

After the Conversation

Follow up with a written explanation, if appropriate. This can serve as a reminder and reinforce the explanation you provided verbally. This formal reiteration may help to prevent future misunderstanding or contention. Always remember, maintaining empathy and direct communication are crucial in navigating these challenging conversations.